Saturday, July 14, 2007

You can't make me say it

Dad: hello

Lonely: Hello

Dad: Hello.

Lonely: Ah, Daddy, good afternoon Sir!

Dad: Sharap!! I've told you stop that Sir nonsense. How are you?

Lonely: I guess I’m doing great, Sir.

Dad: Olu kwanu (and your job)?

Lonely: Going well.

Lonely: How is everyone?

Dad: Everyone is ok. Your brother is still insisting on that girl. Your sisters are working hard to finish my money and your mother only gives me pawpaw and soaked garri.

*joke alert*

Lonely: ha ha ha ha

Dad: ehen. I've been meaning to talk to you.

Lonely: what’s the matter?

Dad: Lonely, you know that that-thing is everywhere now.

*oh meeeen, not again*

Lonely: Everywhere?

Dad: YES!! In fact the numbers keep rising every second.

Lonely: What thing?

*like i don't know*

Dad: The other day i put on the news and they said that it is spreading like wild fire.

Lonely: Wild Fire?

Dad: YES!! I know my son very well and I know he would not do anything silly but i just have to fulfill my duties and mention it.


Dad: You know once you get it you are just FINISHED!

Lonely: Get what?


Lonely: Hello

Dad: Hello

*so he hears me*

Dad: I spoke with Doctor O the other day and he said that the number of patients he gets with that thing is just unimaginable. It is as if everyone has it.

Lonely: Everyone?

Dad: Yes!! He even said that you can now get it from Kissing.

Lonely: Kissing?

*somebody save me*

Dad: YES!

Lonely: Get what?

Dad: So you have to be very very careful. Just stay focused and when the time is right you get someone and settle down.

Lonely: Hello

Dad: Hello

Lonely: Dad

Dad: Yes

*You MUST say it today*

Lonely: What are you talking about?

Dad: I told your mum that we would talk to you next time you're in d country on days off but i just decided to have a word with you now.

*no hope*

Lonely: ok.

Dad: You know our people are humble and we don’t show off. It is when you show off that you start attracting all manner of creatures.

Lonely: Yes, humility is very important.

Dad: Just focus on your job and when God's time comes you can settle down.

Lonely: Ok Sir.

Dad: Stop it!

Lonely: ok

Dad: so, when next are you coming ...~wurahell are u driving? U don't use your side mirrors? Slow down slow down. I have told you to always give some headroom before the car in front! If you scratch this car i'll skin u alive. Ike udele (ass of a vulture)~

Lonely: I have three weeks left, would be off for 3 too. Please greet the driver for me.

Dad: ok, Lonely i'll talk to you some other time.

Lonely: thanks for the call, my regards to everyone.

Dad: of course. Bye.

Lonely: bye.

My r/ship with my Dad is kindda stiff and sometimes funny. In as much as it makes him extremely uncomfortable, he has had countless talks with me on HIV, however, he never ever mentions it by name. Surely, he knows it can’t be contacted via pronunciation alone.

For stressing yourself to keep me safe pops, I appreciate the effort. Much luv.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Cosmopolitan Amosu

I hate it

Your grip on me

Stiff like African-handcuffs

But now I have my psyche set on escape

You have my "mugu button"

I recognize the symptoms

I don't know how you found it

Then you go pressing away

Making me do foolish things

Please leave me alone

I beg you

Take all your cuteness and go

Don't leave your Gabriel Union smile, take that too

Gimme back my "mugu-button"

The stain. Your smear.

Your couth-vibe tattooed on my mind

Astute manipulator

Ever poised in a state of almost kissed, almost caressed always an almost-urge

Grab that urbane-shit and leave

Take your craft elsewhere

Contrary to your beliefs, I'll fix myself

There'll b some kind of Amosu-disinfectant-rehab place somewhere

You are very hot, probably the hottest of the hot, SO WHAT!!?

You make the most attractive conversation, u r refined to a fault, AND THEN!!?

Abeg, take your lies, your shiver provoking beauty and all associated pluses elsewhere

Yes you have won, albeit marginally

It is a Small price to get me back, hell it’ll b the cheapest thing I’ve ever got you

May the next unfortunate soul that falls victim to your scheme escape with his life

Yours regretfully,


PS: Next time don’t give it up